What Canada Just Taught Christian America
Humility, Kindness, and the Politics of Micah 6:8
Eyes on Christ | Vol. 18, Issue 18 | April 30, 2025 | Ordinary Time
A few months ago, after having written a couple of satires based on C.S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters, I promised to create a more modern version. I’ll share more detailed character sketches in a future issue. Today, enjoy the letter from the demon Aunty Jezebel to her two mentees and junior tempters who also happen to be her nephews.
Letter from Aunty Jezebel
On the Liberal Victory in Canada, Despite Our Best Efforts
My dearest Cain (and yes, Gideon, wipe the Cheeto dust from your fingers and pay attention this time),
I write to you with clenched talons and scorched pride. Our glorious plan to annex Canada—not officially, mind you, but spiritually, culturally, algorithmically—has suffered a wretched setback. The orange one, our puffed-up prophet of pandemonium, had one job: infect their politics with the same swamp-frenzy we perfected down south. And what do we get instead? A Liberal landslide, celebrated with actual smiles and universal healthcare still intact.
Curse it all.
Our noble effort to turn Alberta into the Everglades of the North has gone soggy. The convoy clowns were supposed to sow permanent discord. The algorithms, the dog whistles, the big red hats with misspelled slogans—they worked brilliantly in other places! But the Canadians had to go and be so very Canadian about it. Polite resistance. Strategic voting. And worst of all, hope without hysteria. I nearly vomited up my flat white.
You boys were supposed to seduce the provinces with rage and memes. Instead, they got tired of imported tantrums and voted with their brains. Gideon, I am still seething about that blasted video—the moose in the Make Canada Grovel Again parka, waddling through a snowbank while tossing cheeseburgers at geese and shouting about election fraud in Quebec. That was supposed to be inspiring? The Canadians turned it into a meme within minutes. A meme, Gideon. You've handed them comedy when we wanted chaos!!
Listen carefully, both of you: our mistake was underestimating their smug little decency. It's infuriating. They still believe in things like public libraries and climate science. We must move fast. Do not let them get too confident. Confidence breeds courage, and courage spawns action. I want confusion, petty fights about minor cabinet appointments, and at least three online scandals by the next news cycle.
Oh—and whatever you do, do not let Americans notice that Canada just rejected the politics of spite and managed a stable government. The comparison could be fatal.
Sulfurously yours,
Aunty Jezebel
Chief Agitator, Department of National Undoing
Lower Circles, North America Desk
From the Author: A Word to My Fellow Americans
(not from Aunty Jezebel)
Christian Ethics and the Canadian Election
From an ethical standpoint, Mark Carney’s electoral message of humility, kindness, and constructive governance invites a theological reflection—particularly for Christians in the U.S. context. In an era when Christian nationalism frequently co-opts religious language for political dominance, Carney’s posture offers a meaningful contrast.
“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good... to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
—Micah 6:8
This verse captures a foundational Judeo-Christian ethic—one that prioritizes justice tempered by compassion and humility. When compared to the performative religiosity and often retributive tone of American Christian nationalism, Carney’s emphasis suggests an alternative political theology—rooted not in triumphalism but in service.
His speech, though secular in context, resonates with a theologically grounded vision of leadership that seeks the common good. For Christians seeking to align political convictions with biblical values, this moment offers an opportunity to re-examine what public witness should look like in a pluralist democracy.
Notes
Read the transcript of Prime Minister Mark Carney’s victory speech. https://globalnews.ca/news/11154593/canada-election-mark-carney-victory-speech/